If you're worried about your mom or dad falling for an online scam, that worry is well placed — but the fix probably isn't what you'd expect. The answer isn't to take over their accounts or treat them like they can't manage. It's to give them the same thing you'd want: clear information and a little practical setup, offered with respect.
Here's how to do that well.
Why this matters now
The risk is real and rising. In 2024, Americans age 60 and older reported losing about $2.4 billion to scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission — and the most damaging losses now come from sophisticated impersonation and investment scams, not obvious junk mail.
The technology has changed the game, too. Scammers now use artificial intelligence to clone voices, so a panicked "emergency" call can sound exactly like you or your sibling. Your parents aren't naive for being targeted — they're being attacked with tools that didn't exist a few years ago.
Lead with respect, not control
Start here, because it shapes everything else: your parent is not foolish, and treating them as if they are will quietly shut the conversation down. Scams fool doctors, lawyers, and professors every day. They're engineered to fool anyone who's rushed and worried.
So skip "Mom, you have to be more careful." Try instead: "There's a new scam going around that even fooled some pretty sharp people — can I show you what it looks like so we can both watch out for it?" That framing makes it a team effort, not a lecture. People act on advice they receive with dignity; they tune out advice that sounds like criticism.
The conversations worth having
A few specific talks do more good than a hundred vague warnings:
Agree on a family password. Pick a word or phrase only your immediate family knows. If anyone ever calls claiming to be family in trouble — or claiming to need money for family — the real person will know the word. This single trick defeats the AI voice-cloning "emergency" scam cold. It's the most valuable five minutes you'll spend.
Make "hang up and call back" the family rule. Establish together that nobody in your family will ever be upset if a worried call gets hung up on and called back on a known number. Give your parents explicit permission to do this with you, the bank, anyone. Removing the fear of being "rude" removes a scammer's biggest advantage.
Talk about money openly — before there's a problem. Let your parents know they can always run a money decision past you with zero judgment, especially anything urgent or secret. Scammers thrive on isolation; a standing, judgment-free check-in dissolves it.
A little practical setup goes a long way
With their permission — always with their permission — you can help put a few protections in place:
- Turn on two-factor authentication for their email and bank accounts. It's the single biggest security upgrade, and you only have to set it up once.
- Set up call and spam filtering on their phone so fewer scam calls get through in the first place.
- Consider freezing their credit at all three bureaus (it's free and reversible), which stops anyone from opening accounts in their name.
- Ask the bank about a "trusted contact" on their accounts — many banks let an older customer name someone the bank can alert if they spot something alarming, without giving that person any control over the money.
Do these with your parent, explaining each one, so they understand and stay in charge. The goal is to hand them more control, not take it away.
What not to do
- Don't take over their accounts or devices. Independence is the point; eroding it breeds resentment and secrecy — and secrecy is what scammers want.
- Don't shame them, especially if they've already been caught by something. Shame makes people hide the next incident instead of reporting it.
- Don't try to teach everything at once. One conversation, one setting at a time. Steady beats overwhelming.
Give them something they own
The most respectful protection you can offer is knowledge your parent keeps for themselves — something they can read at their own pace, refer back to, and use to feel more capable, not less.
That's exactly why Not Born Yesterday exists. It's written in plain English — no jargon, no condescension — around 10 simple Laws for deciding who to trust online, with clear, screen-by-screen walkthroughs for phones, email, and accounts. It treats the reader as the capable adult they are, which is precisely why it tends to actually get read and used.
It also makes a genuinely thoughtful gift — the kind that says "I want you to stay independent and confident," not "I think you can't handle this." You can buy it as a gift and have it sent directly, so it lands as a kindness rather than a correction.